We have all been there. You think you are truly in love, until you are not. Either he changed or you changed or the situation changed and suddenly you are stuck in one of those bad relationships. These will happen from time to time. Haven't you ever heard the old adage about having to kiss a lot of frogs? Bad relationships are inevitable for those on the dating scene, but that does not mean you should have to put up with them. In order to defend yourself against these energy sucking situations, you need to know what makes a bad relationship, how to extricate yourself from one, and what you can do to speed recovery time. If you can learn from this, those bad relationships won't be the tragic events they once were.
One of the major problems associated with bad relationships is that they can be difficult to recognize until they get really, really bad. What are some red flags to watch for? Well, one of the tell tale sign that you're in one of those bad relationships is the effort schema. What's that? The effort schema refers to the balance (or lack there of) of effort being put into the relationship. If you are doing all the giving, or all the taking for that matter, you are on the wrong side of the effort schema. If the balance can be restored, so that each partner is putting the same amount of work into the relationship, it might be able to be saved. If not, it's just a bad egg. Bad relationships are also easy to recognize when it comes to trust. If you can't trust them, or they can't trust you, then there is no way you can have anything BUT a bad relationship.
So you've decided that this is just one of those bad relationships. The question becomes, how do you get out? There are a couple of options. If this is a casual relationship, simply become unavailable. You don't need to dodge calls altogether, but making it clear that you have other plans with other prospective love interests will usually do the trick. However, many bad relationships are termed as such because they've been going on for quite a bit and involve some level of commitment. In these situations, the best thing you can do for yourself is to find alternate arrangements to ensure your security and well-being, and then have a sit down conversation with your partner in a public place, explaining your reasons for wanting to terminate the relationship. Public settings are key, because they prevent outbursts, and doing the whole conversation face to face is key to your integrity.
Bad relationships, unfortunately, don't hurt any less when they end. Even if you were the one to call it quits, if the relationship had been going on for longer than a week, it's highly likely that you're going to feel bad about it. How can you recover from bad relationships a little more quickly? Make yourself a list of all the things you didn't like in the relationship you just left. Then, make a list of all the things you want from future relationships. Finally, make a list of all the admirable qualities you see in yourself. Put the lists side by side. These lists should tell you that you are a good person who did not deserve the treatment they deserved in the past, but does deserve these wonderful traits in the future. Revisit these lists frequently, and keep your chin up. Your happily ever after is still out there.