Divorce is not a word that brings up good feeling for just about anyone, especially those that have gone through one. However, there are ways that you can save your divorce relationships from turning so sour that you can not stand to think of the other person or anyone they know. If you have children, you want to maintain some type of relationship because the children need the both of you. If you can not talk to each other, the children are the ones that are going to suffer. Those that divorce also find they have to split up friendships, but that does not have to happen.
Your divorce relationships depend on you as much as they depend on your spouse and your children. You may be spitting mad at your spouse and you may think they are the lowest form of life on the planet because of something they did to you. However, they are probably a good parent. That means no matter how mad you are you have to maintain good divorce relationships with your soon to be ex spouse for the sake of your children. They need you to be able to communicate with each other, even if it is only about the children. You may no longer want to be married together, but you are always going to be parents together.
It will be hard to keep divorce relationships steady and positive right away if you had a bad divorce. Your children are going to react no matter what, but over time, watch them for signs of problems. You can read how they are doing into how well you are maintaining a good parenting relationship with your ex. Remind your children over and over again that you are there for them and that they can talk to you about anything. If something is bothering them about your relationship with your ex, tell them that you want to know so you can make things better for them.
The divorce relationships you choose to have with the rest of your ex in-laws is up to you. You may want to maintain contact with the grandparents of your children, but the rest of them may not want to see you, or perhaps they understand the divorce and want to also be involved in your children's lives. Allow them to come to terms with the divorce before you write them off, and give yourself time before you decide if you want to stay in touch. Nothing about these divorce relationships is going to be easy, but over time things will settle down.
Don't forget about your divorce relationships with your mutual friends. Some may feel stuck in the middle. You can not control how your ex acts or what he or she may stay to your friends, but you can control what you say. It can be hard when friends have to choose sides, and some end up choosing to go away completely. If you want to preserve these divorce relationships, tell them that you love them and that you understand how hard it can be on them. Give them time and space and your true friends will remain in your life.